Not My Intention
by Solemn Vocation
Summary: Anne hurts Gilbert, and he gives up on loving her, moving on to...Christine Stewart! Can Anne show him how much she truly cares and bring him back?
1. Chapter 1

_**Not My Intention**_

_**An Anne of Green Gables FanFiction**_

_**Solemn Vocation**_

_**Anne loved Gilbert with all her heart, had known it since he walked her home all those years ago, the day she forgave him. She tries to hide it, remaining friendly but aloof whenever he's around. Gilbert takes this the wrong way and believes that she cannot, and will not, ever care for him. Now, they go off to Redmond, and Anne tries to express her feelings, only to find that he's courting Christine Stewart! Can she show him how she truly feels, or is he gone forever?**_

_**I do not own Anne of Green Gables or any of its characters. RIP L.M. Montgomery**_

_**Part I**_

_**WE BEGIN at Green Gables, Anne's eighteenth summer. She sits in a huge birch tree, imagining. Gilbert Blythe comes through the front gate and announces his presence, Anne oblivious to his arrival.**_

Summer was here. It showed its presence in the very air, for if you stepped outside, you would feel warm and loved in an instant. The sun gave generous amounts of light and graced the world with a sense of freedom, of happiness. Anne loved it, although she wasn't always conscious of it. Mostly, she sat daydreaming, or reading a book. Marilla sometimes worried that she'd catch her death of the heat, but then again, Anne was so cheery, so perfectly wonderful, that it was inconceivable that anything unfortunate should every happen to her.

One afternoon, when the sun was starting to relent early, Anne saddled herself on a rather large branch in her favorite birch tree and quietly sat, imagining of things. She was not fully aware that at that moment, in the front gate was coming Gilbert Blythe, her old chum, with something terribly bothersome, at least to her, on his mind.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Cuthbert," the boy said politely to Marilla as he walked through the front door. Marilla smiled. She thoroughly approved of Gilbert and his visits, so of course she didn't mind when he waltzed uninvited into her home. He always knocked first though, which she always thought an admirable quality. Better to at least forewarn those inside before coming in than just showing up.

"Hello, Gilbert. How are you this fine day?" she asked him. He shrugged and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "I'm all right, ma'am. Is Anne here?" Marilla's face began to twitch, so she abruptly turned around to the sink. "She's outside," was the only answer she could give him. She would not let her voice betray her. Unfortunately for young Gil, Marilla's reaction brought a sense of dread to him. He knew she suspected why he was here, and obviously, she wasn't happy about it. He thanked her, but then hurried though the back door and outside.

Marilla thought it funny that Gilbert should always ask for Anne whenever he came to Green Gables. She knew his intentions, and found nothing wrong with them, but it was always humorous how the boy acted. He blushed whenever he said Anne's name, and he was nervous when talking about her around others, like he was afraid of something. Marilla always tried not to laugh, but it was very hard.

Gil walked across the lawns of Green Gables, his hands shoved into his pockets. Where was Anne this fine day? She'd talked of Idlewild in her youth, but did she go there nowadays? Plus, how was he going to break the news to her? What would she say? Unfortunately, poor Gilbert had not the time to think through exactly how he was to say what was on his mind, for Anne Shirley had just noticed his presence and decided to announce hers.

"Good afternoon, Gil Blythe," she said with a smile. Gilbert beamed back. How he loved that smile she flashed! It made her eyes, b beautiful grey eyes, sparkle in the sun…he realized that he was staring and abruptly cleared his throat. "Good afternoon, Anne with an 'E'," he replied.

Anne laughed. "Oh, Gilbert, how pleased I am that you've kept to that all these years. I was beginning to think everyone had forgotten the spelling of my name." Gilbert positively flushed. "Yes, well, it isn't hard to remember your name, Anne Shirley. You do leave a lasting impression."

Anne was screaming with delight inside, but on the outside she turned crisp. "Come, Gil, enough of the flattery and regal greetings. Let's have some fun before I leave for Redmond." She grabbed his arm and pulled him into the woods. Marilla, watching from the kitchen, smiled warmly. She would have made a comment to herself at that moment, but Davy and Dora burst into the kitchen at that moment and bombarded her with tales of their day. She sighed, but promised herself that she'd listen attentively to these little creatures.

Meanwhile, our friends Anne and Gilbert were walking through the woods companionably, Anne having let go of his arm as soon as she'd found her way into the woods. They talked quietly, but mostly walked in silence, admiring the vegetation and bird calls. Finally, Gilbert decided to speak.

"Anne," he whispered. "Hmm?" She wasn't paying close attention, rather fond of a certain apple which hung from a branch on the nearest tree. Gil plunged ahead. "I meant to tell you earlier, but it's official now. I'm going to Redmond with you."

Anne had lunged for the apple, sure that she could grab it, but upon hearing that statement she fell flat on her face in the dirt. Gilbert, concerned rushed to her side. "Anne, are you all right? Can you hear me?"

"Goodness, Gil, don't be so worried, I've fallen loads of times," she muttered, ignoring the hand he offered and pulling herself off of the dirty ground. Smoothing her skirt, she looked him right in the eye and said, "You're going to Redmond?" He nodded. "Yes, Anne. It will be great fun, I'm sure, although don't get me wrong, I plan to study hard of course. Perhaps I'll be able to see you there?"

Anne looked off into the distance, her eyes getting that misty look. Gil was coming to Redmond? My, that was a surprise. In truth, she'd always been secretly hoping he'd come along, but now that he had actually admitted it, she was off of her guard. How she'd imagined answering to that statement with a warm embrace, perhaps a kiss on the cheek, or maybe a witty remark. But now…what could be said? Nothing was planned. It was so unlike Anne.

"Oh, I suppose," she said, her manner indifferent. Gilbert lowered his gaze to his feet. She supposed? That was it? "Anne," he said quietly, "do you want me to go to Redmond? Or would you rather I stayed here?"

Anne was so startled by the suggestion that she actually stepped back a few paces. "Why, Gil, you're actually asking for my permission?" She was flattered. Gilbert seemed to blush. "Yes, well, I just figured I should ask because you're the only other one from Avonlea going, and I didn't want to be a bother."

Anne laughed. "Don't forget about Charlie Sloane, Gilbert. You should ask him, too, if you're so worried." Gilbert stiffened. "Charlie Sloane has his heart far too set on you, Anne. You should be aware of that," he mumbled. Anne smirked. "Oh, I am well aware, thanks. But there's no danger, Gilbert. I don't fancy Charlie Sloane, nor will I ever."

Was it possible that Gil was looking smug at this statement? The silence that followed Anne's announcement was then broken by Gilbert, who looked quite pleased. "Come, Anne, I'll walk you back to Green Gables."

She gladly accepted his arm, and off they went, chattering busily this time. They talked of all the things they thought they'd learn, all the friends they'd make, the places they'd go…in no time at all, or so it seemed to the young Anne Shirley and equally youthful Gilbert Blythe, they had reached Green Gables again. Marilla no longer stood at the kitchen window. The sun was beginning to set, and she had probably already finished setting down supper.

Anne smiled and said her goodbyes, heading for the house. Gilbert's chance was slipping away. He quickly grasped it and called, "Anne!" She turned around and shouted back, "Gil?" He chuckled, but then replied, "Do you mind if I call regularly in Redmond?" He'd said it loudly on purpose. He was in love with Anne Shirley, and he didn't care who knew it.

Anne, however, did care. She had listened to the 'spiteful old cats' talk about people for years; she'd even laughed sometimes. But never, not even once, had they talked about her, and for that she was grateful. It was true that she did like Gilbert a lot…maybe even loved him, but she didn't want the people of Avonlea to know it. She was afraid of the talk it would bring.

She rushed over to him and slapped him. "Gilbert Blythe, how dare you say such things aloud! Don't you know how scandalous the talk will be on the morrow?" Gilbert rubbed his jaw. What was the matter with her? He asked her as such in an injured tone.

"Oh, I'm perfectly fine, or at least I was, until you decided to ask me a very personal question in a voice that could have alerted the entire town! In fact, I do mind if you call. Don't you dare, not even once! You have hurt me and my feelings beyond relief," she huffed.

Gil looked at her and said quietly, but firmly, "It was never my intention to hurt you, Anne. Please know that. Good night, then. I hope you enjoy Redmond as much as I know I shall." With that, he stalked out of the yard and back to his own home, hurt more than Anne Shirley knew. She obviously didn't care for him, never would and never could. He should resign himself to that fact. But he could not. No matter how hard he tried, he always gave in whenever he saw those gorgeous eyes and heard that laugh. He decided on the trek home to move on, no matter the cost. He would not be struck down again and again by that girl; it hurt too much.

That evening, Anne cried herself to sleep. She hadn't meant to send Gil away like that, not at all! On the contrary, she'd planned to see him loads at Redmond, but now…all because he had to say something so rude…but was it really? Marilla, who had heard everything, and seen it all, didn't think so. She believed Anne was in the wrong this time, but of course wouldn't dare say so.

Before she drifted off to slumber, Anne resolved to tell Gilbert just how she felt, with a thorough apology. She'd let him know how much she cared, how much she loved him, how sorry she was for being so cross. Then he'd see, and he could call on her anytime he liked. That is, if he still wanted to.

_**Trying my hand at this wonderful series now. R & R, tell me what you think.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Part 2**_

_**WE BEGIN at the train station on a mid-August day. Davy stands beside his sister Dora. They are seeing Anne off to College.**_

It was a surprisingly dismal day in the middle of August. Anne stood on the platform with the twins, Davy and Dora, awaiting her train. She was going to Redmond to prepare for her Freshman year of College. She should have felt excited and anxious, but instead she felt wet and sticky, and slightly miserable. The pouring rain did not help in the slightest; it only soaked through her clothes and chilled her to the bone.

Davy and Dora were in seemingly bright spirits. Perhaps it was because they wished to cheer up their adoptive sister (as they liked to refer to her sometimes), but the more probable reason would be that they were always like that. After all, one can only be 10 for a year, you know. Being 10 had its perks for each of them. Dora was old enough to attract some admirers at school, and she could bake a few things all by herself. Davy could moon a girl if he saw fit (which he usually didn't), was allowed to play with his cronies until suppertime, and was old enough to drive the buggy to the station to drop off Anne. Mind you, Marilla wasn't too pleased about this one, but seeing as she had never really liked horses all that much and Jerry Buote was a scoundrel, Davy was next in line.

The train's whistle pierced the ear drums of all those at the station and the steam warmed dear Anne a bit as the vehicle in question pulled up. Commotion ensued, and after another very long period of wait, the doors were opened, and people began to swarm in to get the compartment they wanted. Anne turned to her small companions and forced a smile. "Goodbye, Davy dear, don't get into too much trouble," she told the young boy, embracing him. Davy promised not to, and kissed Anne on the cheek. The latter turned now to Dora. "My sweet, please mind your brother as best you can, and don't get too swept away by those Avonlea boys." A hug followed, and Anne left the blushing girl and proud boy together on the platform as she hopped aboard the train.

Most of the compartments were full, but there was one empty one in the back. She took it and sank down onto the cushioned seat with a sigh. The past few hours had put a lot of strain on her. Gilbert's face, distorted with pain, kept coming to her, clear as day. She saw him everywhere, even when her eyes were closed. It made her heart break over and over. Furthermore, Diana had not exactly been warm in her farewell.

"Have fun at College, Anne, but don't break any more hearts, okay? You've already broken quite enough," she'd spat when Anne arrived at the Barry household. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," Anne had replied hastily. Diana had laughed dryly and shook her head. "Stop pushing everything away, Anne. Accept it, embrace it, and stop being such a stubborn mule!" Anne had huffed and thrown the plate of cookies onto the doorstep. "I thought we were bosom friends, Diana Barry. Clearly I was wrong." She had stalked off, but could have sworn she'd heard Diana say, "Clearly, since bosom friends don't do what you have just done."

Anne's eyes smarted as she also recalled her parting with Marilla. The old woman had been sitting at the kitchen table, knitting a torn pot-holder, when she'd stormed back in from Diana's. Anne had spewed out her troubles, and Marilla hadn't said a single word, merely nodded her head. When Anne was in moods such as this, it was best that she not speak.

She'd grabbed her things and thrown them roughly into the buggy, declared her departure to Marilla and climbed in, refusing to walk back into the house in which sat an unfeeling and uncaring woman. Marilla had come out and waved, but called out, "Realization comes to those who choose to contemplate their wrongs." Anne had ignored her and barked at Davy to get a move on.

What was wrong with her today? All Gilbert's fault, she kept thinking over and over again, trying to make herself feel better. It only made her worse. Gilbert's name caused her deep pain inside. Anne looked out the window and watched as the train pulled out of the station, as people waved to their loved ones inside, as trees flew by and the town disappeared. She could not hold it in any longer. The tears fell, and she broke down into sobs.

The train stopped, but not at Kingsport, where Redmond was located. Anne didn't notice at all. She had cried herself into a stupor, and she could not be roused by the abrupt stop of the train or the noise of the new and old passengers, either leaving or boarding. She did, however, awaken when the door to her compartment opened and she was greeted with a, "Do you mind if I join you?" from a high pitched female voice. Her eyes flickered open and she beheld a lovely brown-haired girl. "Not at all," she muttered groggily, and the girl happily plopped down onto the opposite seat and dropped her bags unceremoniously onto the floor.

The door slammed shut and Anne sat up, wide-eyed at last. Her eyes were itchy, and most likely red, but she tried to be pleasant. The girl smiled warmly and held out a hand. "I'm Philippa Gordon. But don't you dare call me Philippa. My name is Phil." Anne could not suppress the laugh. She shook hands with Phil and introduced herself. "Anne Shirley, with an 'e' if you don't mind. Annie is not acceptable, for the record." Phil chuckled. It seemed that she had a generally cheery disposition.

The train ride seemed to fly by from that moment on. Anne let Phil do most of the talking and was content to sit and listen to the tales of this young woman, who had wonderful parents and many beaus- it was no wonder why the latter was, for Phil was gorgeous. Besides, she wasn't really in the mood for talking about her own life right now anyhow.

Thankfully, just as Phil finished her life story, they reached Kingsport. Anne would not have to explain anything right now. She breathed a sigh of relief as they finally stopped. Phil had stopped chatting by now and they both walked quietly off of the train and into more rain.

"Where are you staying?" Phil suddenly asked. Anne had not thought of this. "I really don't know," she admitted, flushing. Phil grinned. "Good, because neither do I." They both laughed and headed for town, because the ominous lights coming from the lampposts provided a sense of ample opportunity. All things previously bothering Anne were gone now, for she'd met a new friend who took all of her worries away and made her feel like a child again, a sensation not entirely unwelcome.

**_Sorry if I made Anne sound like a piece of crap, but the revelation of that crappiness will come in handy with the later parts of the story. Hope you enjoy my introduction of Phil. R & R if you want, sit and stare at the screen if you don't care either way :)._**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Here's the next installment. Sorry it's been so long. I had to think of some way to get the plot going, and I've had lots to do. Busy busy student and all. :)**_

_**Part 3**_

_**WE BEGIN at Redmond College, about a week or so into term. Anne is leaving a literature class, and walks right into a busy hallway.**_

"Thank you, Professor Sternberg, I shall relish every word of "Atalanta's Race" and write a beautiful composition on it for you as proof that I am enjoying your class," Anne called with a warm smile back into the classroom. With a sigh, she turned back to the obstacle course she was about to face: the swarm of Redmond students in the hallway after class was disbanded.

"Excuse me," she muttered, several times, to various pupils that shoved and pushed her as they made their way out of the college. It was lunch break, and it was certain that no one would stay another minute in this make-shift hell. No one, that is, except Anne Shirley.

As students exited the building, Anne plunged deeper into its brick interior with a determined look on her face. She was not actually the only one who liked to stay on campus at lunchtime. The courtyard was beautiful this time of year, and her favorite spot (a granite bench near a rose trellis) had been occupied the previous afternoon. Today, she would not sacrifice her imagination.

As she entered the courtyard, she was rewarded for her punctuality by the sight of her bench, empty, in the warm autumn sun. With a sigh of contentment, she sat down and spread her lunch on the granite beside her. Phil packed her lunches, and Anne likewise packed hers. So it was always a mystery what they would be eating at dinnertimes.

Anne smiled as she spotted the Pink Lady Apple at the bottom of her paper sack. They were delicious treats she rarely got to eat these days. Anne gaily rubbed it on her shoulder and took a bite, then took to opening a new novel she'd picked up at the library.

Her reverie was disturbed by the annoying sound of girlish giggling behind her. Anne tried to ignore it, but it grew louder and more irritating by the minute, so she stole a glance at the bench behind her. Just some stupid girl trying to flirt with a dashing young man who was attempting to guide her in the area of mathematics. Anne went back to her book, but that young man looked strangely familiar.

She turned again, and gasped. It was Gilbert Blythe. Anne whipped her head back around to its proper place and stewed for a good five minutes. Gil was sitting in a courtyard teaching some strange, flirtatious girl her sums? That was not okay! And yet, he did have a right to talk to anybody he wanted to. At least they weren't snogging. Anne consoled herself with that and tried to concentrate on her book.

Just then, the worst imaginable happened. Anne heard smacking noises behind her. Oh, lamentable day! Gilbert was kissing that strange girl, wasn't he? Anne dared not look behind her. She snatched up her book bag, tossed the remnants of her dinner into the sack, closed the book unceremoniously, and stalked out of the courtyard, head high and back erect.

Meanwhile, Gilbert disentangled himself from Christine Stewart very awkwardly. He chuckled nervously. "Well, I hope you get an A on that test now," he mumbled, gathering his things. Christine smiled. "I sure hope so, Mr. Blythe. That would be splendid, now wouldn't it?" Gilbert nodded and looked over at the exit just in time to catch a glimpse of red hurrying through the archway. Anne. She'd been sitting in front of them the whole time, hadn't she?

Gilbert had an urge to run after her and explain, but then he remembered the rebuff he'd gotten back at Green Gables. Anne didn't want to see him, didn't want to associate with him, did she? But obviously she was offended by Gilbert seeing other girls. Well, this was a fine kettle of fish.

"Or is it?" Gilbert said aloud, staring off into the distance. Christine grabbed his hand. "What's the matter, Gil?" Gilbert patted her hand. "Nothing at all. Just thinking," he responded. A plan was brewing in his mind. If Anne was upset by him seeing other girls, then maybe…it was a crude idea, and a mean one at that, but if it meant he might be able to get her back, then he'd do it. In a heartbeat.

**_R & R_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

**We BEGIN at Anne's dormitory, where she is preparing for the Christmas dance.**

Phil, Anne, and their newfound friend Stella were all dressing for the Christmas Ball that Redmond College was hosting before classes let out. Phil had found a dorm for her and Anne to share with her coquettish talents the moment they had gotten off the train. Now they were given ample space to prepare for festivities such as the one they were currently dressing up for.

Stella had joined the girls instead of staying in her own dorm because her roommate was apparently a very uppity cheer girl who brought boys into the room at any hour of the night or day. Sweet Stella did not want to have any part of that nonsense.

Anne was sitting at the dressing table, watching Stella braid and twist up her hair in the mirror. Phil was having a time picking out which dress she would like to wear.

"This one complements my eyes, Bobby Miller said so at the Autumn dance. But this one is prettier…Gerry McGillicutty told me that one. And this one here is the best for dancing in," she was saying, holding up the dresses.

"Who said so?" Stella asked curiously. Phil grinned. "Me," she announced proudly. The girls laughed gaily. "So…which one should I wear, Anne? I can't decide." Anne was permitted by Stella to turn her head and look at the three dresses Phil was deliberating between.

"I agree, that brown one does complement your eyes, and the blue one is mighty pretty. That red dress does look a bit revealing, I have to say, though it does look loose enough for dancing. It all comes down to whichever one you like best," she diplomatically answered.

Phil pondered some more. "Well, the blue one is the most comfortable," she said, tossing the red dress onto the bed and looking at the two others in her hands. Anne and Stella sighed in relief. Phil was not finished, however. "But it's so close fitting that it isn't the best for dancing in," she persisted. Groans resounded throughout the room.

"There," Stella muttered, pinning up the last strand of Anne's hair. Anne felt it, then looked in the mirror for self-confirmation. It was stunning the way Stella had done it up. Still, Anne sighed. "It still looks as red as ever," she complained. Stella chuckled. "It's perfectly lovely, Anne dear. I promise it's getting darker every day." Anne nodded and hurried off to change into her own dress, while Phil finally decided that blue was her color after all, and would be her choice of the evening.

Anne didn't know why she was so concerned with her appearance lately. It seemed that she was never satisfied, especially with her hair, even though it had been years since she had been so vain.

Secretly, Anne hoped that Gilbert would be at the dance tonight. She might be able to fully apologize to him there, and maybe even sneak in a dance. But she mustn't get her hopes up. He might not even want to speak to her.

Anne never expected that he would be busy with someone else instead.

* * *

When Stella (the blonde, dressed in a gown of yellow), Phil (the brunette, dressed in her blue dress), and Anne (the redhead, in a dress of emerald green) arrived at the large courtyard where the dance would be held, they were extremely excited for the evening ahead of them. Phil had only spent a total of 30 seconds alone with the girls before she was flanked on either side by gentlemen. They ushered her off to the drink table, and Stella and Anne made their way through the crowds to find some of their other friends.

Stella became engaged in conversation early on in the evening. Anne, however, was too preoccupied with searching for Gil that she could not focus on the chatter very well. She absently danced, and answered questions, until Stella roused her.

"Anne, whatever are you thinking of?" the blonde beauty asked. "Boys aren't going to ask you to dance if you keep ignoring them when they try to speak to you!" Anne blushed, embarrassed. "I didn't know any boys had asked, I'm sorry Stella," she said.

Stella smirked. "You still haven't answered my question." Anne shook her head. "I must be tired. I'll try to be more alert from now on. Excuse me while I go get a glass of punch." She eased through the crowd as a slow dance began. She reached the table and sipped some red liquid as she surveyed the crowd of college kids, smiling at each other and twirling like there was no tomorrow. She almost choked on her punch as she noticed one couple in particular.

Gilbert Blythe was dancing with a very pretty girl, and she was not very discreet at hiding her feelings for him. She had large bosoms, and the dress she was wearing didn't quite hide them. She was hanging all over Gilbert, and he wasn't even trying to get away from her. Anne flashed with anger, but then it faded away into sadness. Gil didn't care about her anymore. He had obviously moved on to someone better, someone who could give him what he wanted, someone who could make him happy. Someone who clearly wouldn't be yelling at him anytime soon.

Tears filled her eyes. She stood dumbly staring at Gil and the strange girl until Gilbert looked up, and their eyes met. His widened, but hers released a stream of tears, and she rushed out of the courtyard and down a stone hallway, into to girl's lavatory, where she stayed a good while.

When Anne finally exited, a dashing young man stood there, waiting for her. "A lovely maiden like yourself shouldn't waste time on a rogue like him," he said poetically. "Might I have the honor of this dance?"

Anne was struck. This boy actually found her pretty, and he wanted to dance. He wanted to dance! This was simply…ironic. Anne assented, and she made her way back out to the courtyard.

* * *

Gilbert was mortified. Anne was dancing with HIM? Roy Gardner was the biggest jerk on campus. It was no secret he enjoyed toying with the affections of many a young lady. Why did Anne have to be falling for Roy? This was not his original plan. All he'd wanted to do was get Anne to realize the truth about her heart. He had NOT wanted to make her cry. Hurting Anne was something he most assuredly did not want to do. He watched them twirl about for a moment later, and then sighed. The plain was foiled. Now, he had to live with the consequences and watch them play out. Maybe, if he got lucky, Anne would dump Roy and he could swoop in and fix her broken heart.

But then again, he wasn't that lucky. Christine was back, and if it was possible, her dress was pulled down even farther on her chest. She wasn't subtle at all, was she? She was smirking, and clearly itching for another dance.

_What the heck_, Gil thought, and he dumped his glass of punch and danced the night away with a girl he wasn't even in love with in order to try and get the girl he was in love with him back. A strange combination. But then again, at least he had a spark of imagination.

**_It's been a while, guys. I've been working on this piece for, I don't know, several months. Just perfected it this evening. Hope you enjoy. Expect the next installment soon. Summer's coming :)._**


End file.
